Love Advice From Our Own
Relationship Standards, by Gianni

Sept. 18, 2009

The best love advice I can give to people who seriously want to hold on to a great love relationship is to share with you the standards that Sophie and I have set up for ourselves. ...It was only a few days after we met on a Christian dating site that I unknowingly initiated the beginning of what would become our lifetime "rules of conduct". As we were learning about certain aspects of our personalities that were similar, I recognized that both Sophie and I are pushovers (admittedly me more than Sophie). We aim to please people if we can, including our children. I playfully suggested we begin a private club called "The Fellowship of Mushmellons". Sophie readily agreed, like we were learning that we did with everything. So in order to preserve our reputation of always agreeing, we decided that our first rule would be: "Agree to Disagree". That way, we'll still agree even if we don't. And that would be my first piece of relationship advice to you as well.

I wish I would have listened to more love advice myself in the past, but in seeking to learn from my own mistakes, I became determined as I was getting to know Sophie, that if we were going to continue to get to know each other and grow closer, I wanted to get off on the right foot to help maintain and nurture our relationship. I didn't really know that my suggestion to launch "The Fellowship of Mushmellons" (TFOM) would evolve into our life relationship standards - which we also included as part of our wedding vows over a year later. Neither did I know that we would adopt the pseudonym of The Masked Truelovers as a representation of having found a pure and natural romance connection with each other. We believe that our standards will help prevent erosion from occurring once two people have really discovered a passionate connection. Hopefully, the guidelines that we have set for ourselves will serve in some small way as helpful relationship tips for you as well.

Sophie and I gave ourselves more love advie as we continued to communicate with each other in chat rooms and by exchanging emails on a daily basis. We came up with about 7 more rules that we would want to apply if we were going to grow in our friendship - that is, before we met in person. (We would come up with a few more as our relationship blossomed into true love in the weeks to follow.) But before we had even met in person, these are just the first set of many principles that may serve as romance tips for anyone who desires to have a long-lasting great relationship with the one they love.

* Silence is welcome and accepted.

* Trust and honesty is the Best Policy.

* Compromise/Give of self to please fellow Mushmellon.

* Always be encouraging and never belittle/offend each other.

* Discussion of disagreeable topics is forbidden with fellow Mushmellon.

* Mushmellons that pray together stay together.

* Open Communication.

By the time we met in person, the passion had already begun to build between us. We had a wonderful day together the first time we met. We basically hugged and kissed for about the first hour leaning up against the trunk of my car after first laying eyes on each other. We decided in the days that followed that our next piece of love advice should be: "physical affection is required at all times and in all places". To this day, we are very physical with each other when we are together, even if it's just to hold hands or sit next to each other on the recliner. My relationship advice to you is "don't ever be afraid to hold hands, hug, kiss, cuddle and show affection to each other in any way possible every day." It keeps the passion alive.

We continued to add new standards to TFOM over the weeks to come that are very valuable to us as love advice to keep our own relationship strong. We hope that you can also use this information as relationship tips for your own current or future bonds with that special someone. Our determination to live by the principles of TFOM is what has given us success - on top of the fact that we are very compatible with each other in most every aspect of life. But compatibility is not enough if we don't learn to treat each other with respect and selfless love and devotion. Here's a few more of the rules we kept adding and eventually weaved into our marriage ceremony because of our dedication to live a life of loving harmony with each other.

* Be patient with each other under all circumstances.

* Forgive each other's human moments.

* Our relationship is based on - and the success is measured by - the principle of CUCASHI: Compatibility, Unity, Connection, Agreement, Synchronization, Harmony, Idealization.

* Live by the biblical standard of love towards each other as presented in I Corinthians 13:4-7.

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on it's own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

* Gianni shall serenade Sophie at least once per day for the rest of their lives out of the selection of love songs he has written/will write for her.

* Don't belittle ourselves [we sometimes struggle with confidence in our own abilities and have to encourage each other through it].

* We must say "I love you" at least once per day for the rest of our lives [we usually say it numerous times a day and also have our own "secret" love word].

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